Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
