he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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