how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
