before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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