just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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