You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
