I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
