We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
zippers are such a cool invention
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
