yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
