Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
