Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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