forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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