I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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