lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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