Dual....:-)
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
