This is not my ceiling
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
