how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Bring me that man meat
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
