hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
