I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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