I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
