just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
