whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
