I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
