Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
They took my balls.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
