so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
