I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
