just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
