During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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