it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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