there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
