Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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