Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
