Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
