The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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