So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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