i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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