HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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