I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
