who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
