he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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