Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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