My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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