He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
