I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
