Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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