my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
