Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
love makes seman taste better
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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