ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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