you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
