Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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