stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
