i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
