Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
