Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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