guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize