Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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