so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
