Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
