I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
