omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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